Faith in Parenting

This week on our weekly telephone support call for Christian moms, we talked about how we can all be intentional about entering our kids’ world. To listen in on the call, click “Support Call Archive” to your right. (The archive page will always include the support call recordings for the most recent four-week period.)

Being a kid today is a lot different from when we were young ourselves. Therefore, as parents, we can’t just rely on our own our experiences growing up to guide us. So what can we do to enter our kids’ world?

Here is a list of things you can do to be intentional about putting yourself in your kids’ shoes on a regular basis:

1. Watch TV With Your Kids. If you tend to use your kids’ TV time to get some other things done around the house, you’re not alone! But taking the time to be intentional about watching some shows together can be a real eye-opener. You’ll not only find out what’s most attractive to your child about his/her favorite TV shows, but you might also find yourself learning the source of some of your kids’ newly-developed phrases, like “Oh, snap!”I personally like to watch TV with my kids to help them evaluate some of the programs they’d like to watch regularly. For us, this has led to some really meaningful conversations about how we treat one another and whether what we choose to watch mirrors how we act in real life.

   As adults, we can separate the two, but that’s harder to do for young children. (So when they watch Sponge Bob belittle Squidward, it’s easy to get the idea that that’s how friends behave in the real world.) Taking the time to watch a show that I may not personally care for, and then talking about it together, has also helped my kids understand why we’ve chosen not to let them watch certain shows on a regular basis.

2. Play Video Games With Them. In the same way, playing video games together is a great way to be a part of your child’s world. For one thing, it lets your child see you in a completely different light! (I happen to be quite skilled at NASCAR, according to my 8-year-old.) Playing your kids’ favorite games together also lets you know what the game world is all about. I especially encourage this for parents whose kids play “Teen” or “Mature” games.My personal stance is that my 8-year-old is only allowed to play “E” (for “Everyone ages 6 and older”) games. Part of this is because, aside from the more mature humor on most “Teen” games, some “T” and “M” video games will actually reward a player’s performance with material that would be inappropriate for a younger child to experience. This is why you need to play the game for yourself. In addition, research each of your kids’ video games on www.esrb.org to find out why, specifically, they were given that particular rating.
3. Visit Web Sites They Frequent. Similarly, you’re going to want to visit the Web sites your kids go to. What we’ve done is “bookmark” all of the sites our kids are allowed to go to, and then they know that they have to access sites through their bookmarked listings. In addition, go ahead and get on Webkinz and Club Penguin. See for yourself what’s involved so that you can make informed decisions about what online activities are permissible for your kids.
4. Read the Books They’re Reading. This can be another great way to connect with your kids and learn even more about what they’re into in this season of their lives. If you think about it, when our kids are little, we spend a lot of time helping them find books and activities that compliment their interests. (Remember reading book after book on trucks?) As our kids get older, they start doing the thing we hoped they’d do - they read what interests them! And one way for us to keep up with their ever-changing interests and curiosities is to read along with them. So grab one of your kids’ chapter books and see what it is they’re into!

I addition, all of us need to remember that stepping into our kids’ world is a process. It requires us to be intentional and, at times, to do things that may not always suit our personal interests. But the payoff is huge! Because taking the time to ’step into’ our kids’ world on a regular basis enhances our deep and ever-developing connection.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 8th, 2008 at 7:04 pm and is filed under listening, audio, support, parenting, children. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.