Faith in Parenting

What are your family’s New Years Resolutions? I did a little poking around the Internet today to see if I couldn’t find a concise list of moms’ top resolutions. Here’s a list of the five most common themes I noticed:

1. I’m finally going to lose those last ten pounds
2. I’m going to keep my house clean
3. I’m going to finish the kids’ scrapbooks
4. I’m going to manage my time better
5. I’m going to begin a daily spiritual practice (such as doing daily devotions, a gratitude journal, etc.)

Don’t get me wrong; these are good. But sometimes the very language we choose when we come up with these goals sets us up to fail. I mean, what do words like “finally” and “better” suggest? That we stink in these areas right now, and that’s why we’ve listed them on our resolutions, right?

So let’s start to take a look at our resolutions in a different light. I’m going to walk you through a three-step process for revising your resolutions. To learn more, listen to this week’s recorded support call on revising our resolutions for 2008.

Step 1: Look at what’s behind the resolution. What’s the real intent? Then, ask yourself whether you agree with it and want to pursue it.

For example, for me, the real intent behind wanting to loose weight is taking better care of myself. When I look at it that way, I see a whole slew of possible ways I can begin to take better care of myself. It’s not really about the number on the scale; it’s about feeling better and having more energy.

Step 2: Rephrase the resolution so that the language is freeing, as opposed to being something that makes you feel guilty or lacking.

In regards to the above example, I can rephrase my goal as simply taking care of myself. Boy, does that sound like a lot more fun than “losing weight!” I can really get excited about the idea of taking care of myself. How about you?

Step 3: Break it down into manageable baby-steps.

For example, I can drink more water, make a point of planning out my lunches (rather than eating Christmas cookies!), and walk three times a week. And these are much more doable, manageable, measurable baby-steps in the right direction.

You can apply this three-step process to just about any resolutions you come up with. But remember, take baby steps, and give yourself permission to start again any time you need to. Let’s not say our resolution is to read the Bible everyday, skip January 2nd, and then give up on the whole year. (C’mon, I know you’re out there. I’ve done it, too!)

Instead, give yourself permission to start again, even if it means starting over each and every day. Resolutions - and life itself, if you’re paying attention - are about the process. So let’s be determined to enjoy the process, and pay attention to our progress, not just the “finish line.”

One final word about creating doable resolutions: Don’t try to do it all at once. If you have a list of five or six areas you’d like you work on this year, don’t put pressure on yourself to incorporate all those changes at the same time.  Instead, work on them one at a time until your new habits build on and support one another.

Realize, too, that you don’t have to do it all alone. If you’d like to talk with me about one-on-one coaching in setting and following through on your goals for this year, give me a call at (616) 499-3376 or send me an e-mail, and I will get back to you.

Have you ever sat down and developed a list of goals for your family? What would you like to accomplish in 2008?

Think about it… In the working world, employees set and work toward clear-cut goals all the time. They work toward better communication… improved customer service… higher sales… Measurable goals employers and employees keep in mind while going about day-to-day work-related tasks.

Well, what about at home? Here, it feels much like we’re our own boss, doesn’t it? Of course, we’re responsible to God for how we raise our kids, but working it out on a day to day basis falls directly on our shoulders. How might our success at “working on” certain areas of our parenting improve if we set some clear goals and developed a plan for accomplishing them?

That’s part of what we’ll do on the support call this week. In addition, we’ll talk about how we can revise those goals to make them guilt-free and doable! I hope you’ll join us for our final Tuesdays at 2:00 call for 2007.

Directions for Joining Us on the Weekly Support Call:

• Date: Tuesday, December 18, 2007
• Time: 2:00-2:35 PM (ET)
• Telephone Number: (218) 486-1300
• Access Code: 669379

As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Blessings,

Jennifer

Friends, we need a better strategy for getting our kids to cooperate at this time of year than singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town. (You know, “You’d better watch out, you’d better not pout…”).

What works to get your kids to cooperate from their hearts? Not with reluctance or an expression of exasperation.

Part of the family culture we want to cultivate is one in which each member of the family contributes to the good of the whole, where we’re helpful to one another out of love and willing service, not just because of the threat of consequences or the hope of rewards.

So how do we accomplish that? That’s our topic for this week’s Tuesdays at 2:00 call: Getting Kids to Cooperate with a Willing Spirit.

If you’re feeling a bit worn out at this point in the holiday season, if you’re tired of repeating yourself and wondering whether anyone is listening at all, this week’s topic is for you!

To join us, just call in to the conference line at 2:00 p.m. EST on Tuesday. It’s free to participate; the only cost to you is, potentially, a long distance telephone call.

Directions for Joining Us on the Weekly Support Call:

• Date: Tuesday, December 11, 2007
• Time: 2:00-2:35 PM (ET)
• Telephone Number: (218) 486-1300
• Access Code: 669379

As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Blessings,

Jennifer

This week we focused on how to cultivate our children’s strengths. If someone asked you right now what your kids’ strengths are, what would you say? What ideas would immediately roll of your tongue? What sets them apart from others?

Some of their strengths are immediately obvious. Perhaps your child is great with numbers, is naturally athletic, or is extremely empathetic with others.

Now, dig a little deeper. What are some of the under-developed aspects of your child’s personality or character that you might be able to help him or her cultivate? What potential do you see? And what might be the natural result of these characteristics without your intentional guidance?

During the call (which you can listen to online by selecting “Support Call Archive” in the sidebar to your right), I shared that my daughter is a very passionate person. At 4, I can tell you that this sometimes poses a challenge for me. But when I shift my focus off of the inconvenience of her being passionate about - say, her perspective of what’s “fair” - to envisioning the potential that’s wrapped up in that part of her, I begin to look at things a bit differently.

Instead of passionate and dramatic, I’m thinking of how she has the potential to grow into an extremely compassionate young woman, able to put herself into another person’s shoes and even stand up for those around her.

And the beauty of it is that when I see the challenges of tempering her passion (at times) through that lens of potential, it changes how I deal with it in the moment.

How about you? What are some of the more challenging aspects of your kids’ personalities, and how might you be able to influence them for good in how you choose to respond?

Also, how can you honor your kids where they’re at, and how might that free them to further develop their unique strengths? For more on this topic, listen to the entire support call recording.

Our calls will still take place on “Tuesdays at 2:00,” but we’re now using a different conference call center, which means that both the phone number and access code have changed. The new phone number is (218) 486-1300, and the access code is 669379.

In addition, I wanted to point out two changes that may affect readers who to listen to the audio recordings of our support calls online:

1. The calls will now be available on a separate web site. To make it easy for you to find the most recent audio recordings, I’ve also added a permanent link on the sidebar to the right, titled “Support Call Archive.”
2. The audio recording of each support call will be available for four weeks.

If at any time you have questions or need assistance, don’t hesitate to contact me.

This week we enjoyed a great discussion of various Advent Activities for Families, from traditional Advent calendars, to Jesse trees, to weekly Advent devotions. You can listen to an abbreviated version of the support call here on the site.

In addition, I’ll be putting some of the ideas we talked about up on the blog over the next several days, along with links to resources you can use.

As well, if I can be of assistance with your family’s Advent devotions, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Blessings,

Jennifer

Listen to This Week’s “Tuesdays at 2:00″ Support Call: Advent Activities for Families

Advent, which begins this Sunday, is a season of preparation for Christmas; and it’s about much more than trimming the tree and finishing your shopping. It’s about preparing your heart to receive the Savior.

As moms, we can sometimes get so caught up in wanting to do something “right” that we never get around to doing it. Advent devotions can be like that; we have the best of intentions, and yet the weeks go by and we don’t quite get into the practice of establishing a routine for Advent devotions.

This season, I want to encourage you that there’s no right or wrong way to go about preparing your heart and your family for the true meaning of Christmas. What matters is that we do something and that we invite the Holy Spirit to teach us.

That’s what we’re going to talk about on this week’s Tuesdays at 2:00 support call: Ideas for Planning Your Family’s Advent Devotions. We’ll be sharing ideas and coming up with a basic outline for what we want to cover on the four Sundays in Advent.

But remember; there’s no single right or wrong way to get Advent devotions started. These are just ideas!

To join us, simply dial (641) 715-3200 at 2:00 this Tuesday, and enter the access code 229468#. Participation is free, other than any long-distance charges you may incur.

Directions for Joining Us on the Weekly Support Call:

• Date: Tuesday, November 27, 2007
• Time: 2:00-2:35 PM (ET)
• Telephone Number: (641) 715-3200
• Access Code: 229468#

As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Blessings,

Jennifer

On this week’s support call, we took a walk through some of our favorite holiday traditions and explored ways that we can use those activities to reinforce lessons of faith for our kids. If you weren’t able to join us, you can listen to the entire call right here on the site.

Some of the activities we talked about were decorating the Christmas tree, baking, and making holiday decorations. Here are some questions you can ask your kids as you do these activities:

• While Hanging Christmas Lights Remind your kids that we are to be the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14-16)
• While Decorating the Tree Ask your children why some people use a angel on top of the tree and some families use a star. What do these symbolize?
• While Baking Ask your children about the spices you’re using. What other spices or seasonings are they familiar with? Then talk about how we are the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13).
• Making Snowflakes Remind your children that just as each snowflake is unique, each person is a unique creation, made in God’s image, and yet unlike any other person on earth!

For more ideas, listen to the recording of this week’s call, or check out the book The Adventure of Christmas by Lisa Whelchel.

Sometimes we think that passing on our faith to our children has to happen at a certain place and time - for example, in church, or during intentional, regular family devotions. It’s true that our children learn about our faith in those settings, but in reality, the “baton” gets passed much more throughout the course of our everyday lives.

That’s what we’re going to talk about this week during our “Tuesdays at 2:00” support call: Sharing Christ in the Midst of Our Everyday Holiday Traditions

Here are the directions for joining us on the call:

• Date: Tuesday, November 20, 2007
• Time: 2:00-2:35 PM (ET)
• Telephone Number: (641) 715-3200
• Access Code: 229468#

As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Blessings,

Jennifer

On Tuesday’s support call, we talked about lots of different ways we can begin to take care of ourselves as moms. To some, this might seem like something moms would naturally be doing already, but in reality, we have a tendency to take care of everyone but ourselves, don’t we?

What I wanted to do was create a list you could easily print out and tack up on your refrigerator or somewhere else where you’ll see it often. I’ve divided the list into five categories - our physical needs, spiritual needs, relational needs, mental needs, and emotional needs.

The idea is to select one or two practices for each of those categories that you want to incorporate in your life over the next three months. Don’t try to do it all at once!

And remember - this is not selfish! By taking baby steps toward truly taking care of yourself, you’re doing your kids a huge favor! You’re demonstrating for them that they’re part of a team and that they, too, are worth taking care of themselves.

Access the 50 Self-Care Tips: Print Page One | Print Page Two

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