Faith in Parenting

This week’s topic was dealing with our feelings of “failure” as moms. We all have them! Those times when we question our course of action or wonder whether we’re doing this “right.” I’m especially grateful to the women on today’s call who shared their own experiences with these all-too-common feelings.

If you were unable to join us today, you can listen to the call in its entirety right here on the Web site.

One thing we talked about was a three-step plan of action for dealing with our feelings of failure:

1. Ask yourself whether you really feel this way in your heart, or whether these feelings of failure are perhaps coming from outside yourself (other moms, our culture, etc.). Julie Barnhill, author of the book One Tough Mother, suggests asking yourself, “Does this really matter in the light of Eternity?” That’s an excellent way to separate what really matters from what doesn’t!
2. If your response is “Yes,” then ask yourself what you are willing/able to do about it at this time. Realize, too, that taking baby-steps in the right direction is probably going to be a whole lot more effective - and lasting - than trying to accomplish a complete 180 overnight.
3. If the answer is “No,” ask yourself how you can take steps toward letting go of the issue.

In addition, something powerful that came up during the call was that we all have different gifts as moms! I’d encourage you to spend some time this week thinking about what it is that your kids get because they have you for a mom, that they might not otherwise have. God put them in your family, with you as their Mommy, intentionally! And He has equipped you with specific and unique gifts to share.

Finally, I shared with the moms on the call two verses that I think speak to this issue. The first is 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, where Paul is explaining that it is through his weakness that God’s strength shines. That’s true for us as Moms, too! Instead of hiding our weaknesses, we should consider how God might use them to show His strength in our lives.

The other verse is one that Lisa Welchel shared on Saturday at the Hearts at Home conference. It’s 2 Timothy 1:12b, “…I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.”

In other words, I know that it is Jesus himself in whom I have believed, and I am convinced that He is able to guard and protect my children, whom I have entrusted to Him.

That’s huge! Yes, we fall short as moms. We do. We simply can’t be perfect. But we’ve already entrusted our children to Him, and He will equip us! Amen!

Listen to the Call: Dealing With Those Times When We Feel Like a Failure as Moms

Boy, I just knew that I would walk away from the Hearts at Home conference encouraged and renewed! It was wonderful! And, as I suspected, a topic for this week’s “Tuesdays at 2:00″ jumped out at me: Our Feelings of Failure as Moms.

They stink, don’t they?!! And yet we all have them. I mean, all of us! That realization seemed to be a common thread throughout the evening on Friday and again on Saturday - that we, as moms, feel ill-equipped and imperfect when it comes to the most sacred responsibility given to us: Raising our children.

The good news is that I also walked away with a great hope that I want to share with you! So I hope you’ll plan to join us from 2:00-2:35 (ET) this Tuesday.

If you’ve never called in before, here’s how it works: I’ve reserved a free conference call line for us to use. The only cost to you is any applicable long distance charges. Just dial the number at 2:00 pm on Tuesday and then enter the access code, and - ta da! - you’ll be on the “Tuesdays at 2:00″ support call for Christian moms!

Here are the directions for accessing the weekly support call:

• Date: Tuesday, October 30, 2007
• Time: 2:00-2:35 PM (ET)
• Telephone Number: (641) 715-3200
• Access Code: 229468#

As always, if you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Hope to “see” you there!

Blessings,

Jennifer

I’m so excited! Today and tomorrow I’ll be attending the Hearts at Home conference with some women from my church!

I have to confess, though, that as I write this, I’ve already begun to dig into the snacks I’m preparing to bring along. (Sorry roomies! I won’t eat them all before 4 p.m.!)

Why the snacks? (Yes, how is that I know we’ll be hungry at 11:00 tonight? I don’t usually eat salsa and chips at that time…)

Well, actually, I based my purchases on past conference and camp experiences. And so that got me thinking about something…

I’m packing snacks like a kid heading off to camp. What if I packed my heart the same way?

The Word says we must receive the Gospel of Jesus Christ as a child, right? With the faith of a child - eager, expectant, open. What if I brought that same enthusiasm to whatever I might experience, learn, or participate in at this weekend’s women’s retreat? How much more meaningful might my worship be, and how much might that influence my life back home when I return?

I know it’s hard for us to pick up and leave our little ones. Part of my procrastination in packing the rest of my things has to do with a reluctance to leave, even though I know they’re in good hands!

But the truth is, we need to be nourished spiritually as moms! And taking some time “away” to allow for that inner growth is more than just O.K., it’s a responsibility.

So how about you? What are you going to be doing this weekend? Where can you fit in a break from the everyday to get away, worship the Lord, and see what He has to teach you at this time in your life?

You could:

• Swap playdates with a friend and spend some time alone with God, reading through the verses shared in this week’s Tuesdays at 2:00
• Listen to the audio of your favorite pastor or radio ministry
• Use your church’s nursery this Sunday so that you can focus your attention on Him during worship
• Read a book by one of your favorite Christian authors

There are many ways to nourish your soul. However you choose to respond to that tug in your chest that says “Come closer,” I encourage you to go ahead and do it. Don’t wait for the perfect time!

See, I think that’s part of what He meant when He said we should come “as little children.” Notice that the next time you’re going somewhere as a family. They’re not worried one bit about what they’re wearing, whether they’re prepared, or whether things appear “perfect.” They just take the next step! And that’s what we can do, as well.

If this is something you feel you need help with, feel free to contact me or make plans to join us for the next Tuesdays at 2:00 support call for Christian moms.

Blessings,

Jennifer

This week’s topic was Scripture that has a personally encouraging message for us as moms. If you didn’t have a chance to be in on the call, feel free to listen to the audio download here on the site.

Here are Scripture verses we discussed:

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

Philippians4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Philippians 1:6 …[H]e who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Psalm 121:1-4 I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

If you have your own Bible, consider spending a few moments highlighting, underlining, or placing a star next to these verses. It’s so encouraging just to be able to open up the Word at the end of a rough day and hear what God is saying to your heart!

And if you don’t have your own Bible, please contact me, and I will help you acquire one.

Many Blessings,

Jennifer

Listen to the Call: Bible Verses to Personally Encourage Moms, October 23, 2007

Ever have “one of those days?” (Who am I kidding? Who hasn’t!) Raising kids is tough work! And in case you haven’t noticed, we’re not actually perfect as human beings. We fail all the time. And our Lord knows that about us. Thankfully, He has given us His Word to equip us, support us, encourage us, and instruct us. So how does that apply to us as moms?

That’s what we’re going to talk about this week during our “Tuesdays at 2:00″ support call.

If you have a favorite Bible verse that has personally encouraged you in the past, bring it along. However, if there isn’t a particular verse that comes to mind right away, don’t worry! Hopefully by the end of the support call you’ll be leaving with a few gems to encourage you the next time you encounter “one of those days.”

Here are the directions for accessing the weekly support call:

• Date: Tuesday, October 23, 2007
• Time: 2:00-2:35 PM (ET)
• Telephone Number: (641) 715-3200
• Access Code: 229468#

As always, if you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Hope to “see” you there!

Blessings,

Jennifer

One truth about being a Christian parent is this: If we want our kids to listen to the faith lessons we so much want to share with them, we have to equally listen to them.

I’m not talking about giving in, or agreeing with whatever they say, or befriending them. No, I’m simply reminding you of something I’m sure you know already: Our kids need to feel heard.

One way we reveal our tremendous love for them is to truly hear them out, listen to them, ingest - if you will - what they have to say. It’s a basic part of accepting who they are! And if we don’t accept them and celebrate who they are as individuals, we’re going to have a hard time sharing the love of Christ with them, aren’t we?

So how do we show our kids that we’re listening to them?

Think about what already works well with your kids. Are they most likely to open up when you’re doing something special together? Do you tend to stop whatever else you’re doing to let them know that you’re listening? Make a point of making eye contact or turning off any distractions, like the TV or even the phone?

These are great ways to practice really listening to your kids. And today I want to introduce something else: Nothing. Yes, that’s right. A little nothing. Well, that’s not really true, because I wouldn’t call it empty space. But it is an intentional pause.

It’s the space between hearing about a problem and solving it. Do you know what I mean by that? There ought to be some time in between what our kids are saying to us, and our suggestions/evaluations/ opinions/declarations/etc. Of course we mean well when we want to solve any problems our kids experience, but rattling off a “to do” list at them in the moment that they’ve chosen to share something with us doesn’t convey the message that they’ve been heard.

Instead, try making some reassuring sounds like “Hmmm…” and “I see…” to let your child know that you’re paying attention. Then, once he’s done talking, ask some open-ended questions, like “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think about that?”

See, part of this is about trust, too. We have to trust our kids that they know what’s right. In a lot of what they’re dealing with, they have the skills and abilities to respond in ways that are aligned with their character. And when you listen and follow that listening with some open-ended questions, you’re giving your child a powerful opportunity: the chance to come up with a plan of action, say it out loud, and set it in motion. In the end, what they come up with, with our support, is something that they’re more likely to follow through on than all the well-intentioned ideas we tend to throw at them.

Practice it. And I don’t mean the next time a big issue comes up, either! Start putting these skills into motion over the “little stuff” now, and it will come to you all the more naturally the next time you’re helping your child navigate “the big stuff.” So don’t wait! Come back and tell us your stories, too! Just click on the “comments” area below to share your insight.

Lord, help us to be parents who listen to our kids. Help us to seek out little opportunities to put everything else aside and let our kids know, by our physical presence and our attention, how much we love them. And Lord, help us, too, to trust that you’ve already equipped our kids with the skills they need, and equip us to support them as they put those skills and talents into action. Amen.

I’m so excited about having the chance to host these weekly support calls! This week’s topic for “Tuesdays at 2:00″ was helping our children choose friends. If you have a chance, take a few minutes to listen in on the call. I think you’ll see that it’s a very informal, supportive gathering where moms can talk through issues related to Christian parenting, which is the whole idea!

This week we focused on how we can explicitly teach our kids to make and choose friends, positive ways we can be involved in their friendships, and how we can be available to them when difficulties arise.

(Unfortunately, though, only about 2/3 of the call was successfully recorded because the battery of my cordless phone expired mid-call!)

As always, if you have any thoughts about the call, or if you’d like to suggest a topic for an upcoming support call, don’t hesitate to E-mail me or leave a comment below.  And if you haven’t signed up yet to receive weekly updates with the topic of the week, access numbers, etc., fill out the subscription box under “Getting Started” in the sidebar to your right.

Blessings,

Jennifer

Listen to the call: Helping Our Children Choose Friends (October 16, 2007)

One of our responsibilities as parents is to help our kids make friends. From helping them learn how to introduce themselves to a new friend on the playground, to working through the challenges of sleepovers and peer pressure as they grow older, helping our kids navigate relationships is a job that’s never “done.”

See, we’re always modeling; so even if we’re not giving direct instructions with our words, know that our kids are paying attention and learning from what they see and feel as a result of our own interactions with others.

And a big consequence of the lessons we teach our kids about relationships - whether we choose to teach them intentionally or not - is what our kids will later bring to dating relationships and even, potentially, to marriage, about how to effectively relate with others.

It’s daunting when you think of that connection; what we teach our kids today about relationships will impact their choices down the road when it comes to choosing their best friends (huge influences!) and even their spouses.

That’s why this week’s “Tuesdays at 2:00″ topic is Teaching Our Children How to Choose Friends. We’re going to focus on three different areas:

1. What we teach our children directly about how to make friends
2. Being involved as parents in our kids’ friendships
3. Being available when problems and conflicts arise

Here are the directions for accessing the weekly support call:

• Date and Time: Tuesday, October 16, 2007, at 2:00 PM (ET)
• Telephone Number: (641) 715-3200
• Access Code: 229468#

If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to contact me. In addition, please don’t worry if you have little ones in the background. I’ll explain how you can “mute” out any background sound so that you’re free to enjoy the call without worrying that we can hear you serving lunch or tending to your little ones!

Hope to “see” you there!

Blessings,

Jennifer

Where are you at today, Mom? Are you in the throes of raising babies, squeaking by on less sleep than you thought humanly possible? Are you trying to keep up with the ever-changing emotions and activities of a toddler? Helping a preschooler learn her alphabet? Or are you raising much older children; perhaps trying to decide whether your concern warrants a call to your child’s teacher, or whether the recent changes in your teenager’s behavior are the result of a transition he’s going through, or something much worse.

Friend, God cares about your concerns. He wants to know what’s on your heart today. Yes, He knows already; but just as we want our kids to come to us with that issue they’ve been having with a friend or sibling, He wants us to come to Him, pour out our hearts, and rest in the grace and comfort only He can provide.

Read these verses from Hebrews 4:14-16 (RSV)

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we have a not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Are you in a time of need? Approach Him - run to Him! - with your heartache. He’s our “high priest” - our intercessor. The go-between. Not just between us and God; but between us and every trouble we face in this earthly life.

Raising kids isn’t just one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do; it’s the most challenging. Invite Him in to that process. Ask Him directly for the wisdom you need, and He will give it to you (James 1:5). Go boldly and without hesitation, knowing that your Lord cares deeply about each and every aspect of your life.

It was so exciting to host the first “Tuesdays at 2:00” support call today! I especially want to thank the moms who called in to participate. Can you believe we represented four states? Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, and South Carolina!

If you were unable to join us, you can listen in on the call anytime you’d like right here on the Web site.

And if you have any thoughts about the call, or if you’d like to suggest a topic for an upcoming support call, don’t hesitate to E-mail me or leave a comment below.

Listen to the call: Teaching Our Kids to Be Grateful (October 9, 2007)